Cook the twisted pasta in heavily salted boiling water until al dente. Reserve ⅔ cup pasta water, drain, and set aside.

In a large deep skillet over medium-high heat, brown the ground beef into crumbles, pressing it flat between stirs and letting it sit undisturbed so the edges go dark and caramelized, about 9 minutes. Season with the smoked paprika, garlic powder, salt, black pepper, and 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning. Drain excess fat and set the beef aside.

In the same skillet, melt 4 tablespoons butter over medium heat. Add the onion and cook 4 minutes until soft, then add 7 cloves of the garlic and cook 1 minute until fragrant, scraping up the browned bits.

Whisk in the flour and cook 1 to 2 minutes.

Pour in the beef broth while whisking, then add the heavy cream and milk. Simmer 4 minutes until thickened.

Reduce heat to low. Whisk in the cream cheese until melted and the sauce turns ivory-white.

Add 1¼ cups of the Parmesan, 1¼ cups of the mozzarella, and the provolone in handfuls, stirring until each melts fully. The sauce should be thick enough to hold a ribbon on the spoon.

Season with the remaining Italian seasoning, onion powder, and red pepper flakes.

Stir in the remaining 3 tablespoons butter and the last 2 cloves of garlic until the surface turns wet and glossy.

Return the beef to the skillet and stir through the sauce.

Add the twisted pasta and fold until the sauce settles into every spiral groove, loosening with reserved pasta water as needed.

Pile into a serving bowl and spoon extra sauce over the top so it drapes visibly across the surface, leaving beef crumbles poking through on top. Scatter the remaining ½ cup Parmesan and ½ cup mozzarella over it, rest 3 minutes until melted into gooey stretchy pulls, then finish with parsley.